One of the best things about Mike being out of work is he now has time to randomly chat me up during the day. Mike's kept himself busy the last several weeks, first finishing our bathroom renovation, and now undertaking the replacement of our dining room ceiling (I KNOW - it's only been like 8 years!). Last night, we had a quick chat about light fixtures for the dining room - after the wiring was run. We sent links back and forth before I told him we'd have to wait until I got home to discuss this further.
Mike: I am going to go cry now.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo! eat cabbage!
Mike: Already did.
This morning, he was meeting up with a friend of guy we affectionately refer to as a Ricky Bobby. I decided to call him Bicky Robby.
Mike: BR said he needs sheetrock to do the work. He needs to coordinate with RB. He also does not flush the toilet and does not wash his hands. I am pretty sure he also peed with the door open.
Me: whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhat? that's nasty.
Mike: He is a nasty dude. He looked like the perfect participant for NastyFest. Very porny...
Me: so, totes down with the penicorn drawing on the backdoor. is he coming back Monday?
Mike: He might be coming back today or tomorrow if he can get someone in here to rock it up.
Me: i bet that's what he said.
Mike: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, i'ma need someone to come rock it up first. like a fluffer. porn star. So now I have to put more furring strips in along the wall with the windows. I will do that now.
This is what 15 years of marriage gets you, people: made up names, mythical wang creatures, and cabbage for dinner.